My Day... so Far and a Plea for Help! I Need to Develop Some Ironing Love:)

OK Christmas is coming... fast and my organisational skills, plans and ideas are on... sloooow.

I rushed through my chores this morning with a plan, a fabulous plan to get me so organised and back on track with goodies to share too. Early this morning before light and in the freezing (I do mean freezing) cold I was out with fresh water (not ice), greens, pasta and layers pellets for the girls. I opened up the coop so they could get up when ready and even sprinkled a good amount of meal worms around so that they could have a treat when they got up. I shouldn't have worried as soon as they realised there was food they were up. I collected the first egg of the day (Daisy is such a wonderful layer). The nest box looked so cozy due to the extra hay etc. so I'm sure they were fairly warm as well as safe. I'll take their water in again tonight when I shut them in. Sadly I couldn't fully clean them out yesterday and the door to the perching area and the dirt tray were both frozen shut! Still I did the best I could.

The cats got breakfast early too. I found all 4 of them sitting around Millie's food bowl. Why do I have such mixed up animals. The cats are the only animals here who don't eat the chicken's layers mash or pellets; although the adore dog food! Millie of course is like a walking dustbin or hoover. I am SO glad that she doesn't like chocolate, apart from in my brownies. Millie was still in bed (my bed & using my pillow) so they got to eat in peace.

Having sorted the kitchen, tidied the lounge especially the floor (to Millie's disgust) I finally sat down with a mug of tea to check that I hadn't killed (in terminally dead) Dan's laptop. I was so lucky that I hadn't although I'm not sure why it just died twice last night but unhappily Matt saw the error screen and realised what had happened. I could try bribing him to secrecy but as I've no money I wonder if I can manage it with food? I feel muffins coming on - fresh blueberry muffins; yum yum.

Having managed to get Dan's laptop working as if nothing had ever happened I gathered together all of the software I need to organise and prepare for Christmas and started to install them (on Dan's laptop). When he first allowed me to use it he told me not to install anything as he knows what I'm like with anything electrical. Well I hadn't realised how clever that little so and so is because I can't install anything, update or do anything as he's passworded everything. I can surf, blog, type and save - but I can't get organised for Christmas. I can't create the printables, the cards, photos, scrapbook pages or any of the other things I need to do NOW. It's 2.30pm Dan should be up sometime in the next couple of hours. Do I have the nerve to ask for permission to load the software packages? I know I would be suicidal again without any flicker of hope if I have to try and use my own laptop which may as well be totally dead for all the use it is at the moment.

I so need to get Christmas out of the way (in terms of getting ready) because then I get back to writing the articles, ebooks and creating the resources for the new school year. I also need to get my mum's site up and running (a fab excuse for getting interested in sewing, fashion and girly things), I've got 3 websites to get up and running plus the blogs. Not much to do then! I just wish I had a laptop of my own that worked. Oh and let's not forget the whole domestic goddess thing - I really need to perfect that area of my life. Lee was dropping big hints about ironing this morning!

If you have ANY ideas about how to put joy into ironing and to make it something that can do regularly without wanting to commit violence (especially when Lee looks at his shirt and points to a minute crease) when he says it has to be done again! He's forgotten that that is precisely why I stopped doing ironing in the first place - I am NOT a perfectionist.

So sorry for rambling, thank you for listening and don't forget to leave a link to coffee cake recipes that I can't ruin in this post. A decent coffee cake may well prevent Matt from ratting me out to Dan re the laptop.

Blessings,
Amanda x

GratiTuesday: What I'm Thankful For is Hope

A strange thing you might think but when you are facing major life changes that you have little or no control over, then hope is essential. I'm glad that I have that gift of Hope, something that can seem so trivial and small, or neglected and overlooked.

Hope shines in the darkness and is a tiny light that shines in the distance. Yet it grows and burns more intensely the nearer you get. It brings some peace to a weary spirit and a spark of joy where despair lay heavy upon the heart.

Last week I had one particular day where there seemed NO HOPE, no glimpse of light nor even a tiny spark to help guide me. I felt weighed down by a dark, heavy shroud of despair that seemed to cling to heart and soul. I felt bleak and full of despair. That could have signified that the end was nigh. I toyed with different options: ringing the Samaritans, my counsellor, walking out of the door and never stopping or turning back, opening the medicine cabinet...

Yet here I am full of hope. OK perhaps the light isn't fully lit but it is there shining brightly guiding me out of the darkness.

How did I achieve this reversal?

I pondered (yes that is such a cute word don't you think?) on a variety of scenarios: the pros and cons, ifs and buts of the various scenarios that I had considered. I thought about my family, the love I have for them and that they feel for me, the loyal true heartfriends who have stood by me through this past year (in particular) and the new friends I've made online through my blogging. I thought about my animals who are like family. I thought about what I want from life now that my career has been so cruelly ripped from me. I thought about what life was like, is like and could be like.

All this time that a spark had been lit deep inside and continued to grow helping to burn away that shroud of despair and despondancy and to give birth to hope.

Finally, I prayed. Hard and long. I confessed my failings and faults, prayed that I might be given support to help me through this difficult time, to not wallow in self pity but to strive to keep that flame of hope burning. I asked that even if events took unexpected and unwelcome turns that the spark of hope would remain inside.

Trite as it sounds, tomorrow is another day and there are always people with worse problems than you.

I also believe that I have a mission: I've read SO MANY stories from other teachers who have been bullied, victimised, harrassed and discriminated against. Stories that resemble my own. I've read of unfair dismissals and teachers who have not had the strength or will to fight against these appalling behaviours. I watched others fade away giving up their dreams and careers to avoid the stress and unpleasantness that standing up to the bullies would bring about. I was one of those, years ago, a few short years ago but not now. Now I'm fighting for me, yes, but for all those other teachers that will continue to be subjected to appalling bullying tactics. As a teacher it was my duty to prevent and put a stop to bullying and that includes adults too.

So I have hope and I also have dreams, plans and more.

If you are feeling hopeless. If that shroud of dark despair is weighing you down, please know that you are not alone. No one is. Friends who desert you in your hour of need are not true friends. Think hard about the positive things in your life and remember look for that tiny spark of hope. Once found within you it will grow, guide and support you.

Blogging is a powerful tool and has helped me to brighten that light. I hope that I can help others, that I can meet other people, share knowledge and resources, be a friend, achieve childhood dreams...

Wow! Once you start to hope it just snowballs and that light just keeps on getting brighter!

I am so grateful that we all have hope.

Now I have a request for you. If you have a story of how hope has touched your life, an inspiring quotation or a Bible reference that you can share here in the comments or via MckLinky I'd love to hear from you.

Thank you for sharing my hope for the future. I truly hope that we can get to know each other better.

Blessings,
Amanda x

Coffee Cake Recipes

Matthew LOVES and CRAVES coffee cake. I've never made coffee cake and I'm worried that it will turn out to be a complete disaster (like the lemon cake he craved the other week and I ruined:( and that he won't forgive me for). I'm not mentioning lemon cakes in any shape or form at the moment; hopefully the jokes will die down soon.

I'm collecting coffee cake recipes hoping to find an easy yet perfect cake to reinstate my position in his heart as a wonderful mum who can bake.

Tip-Nut has a selection of coffee cake recipes and they all sound wonderful but I'm prevaricating, procrastinating and pondering (that seriously is my favourite word of the moment; pondering, I just love it:D) At the moment I'm a very ponderous person *grins*. However, I'm just not sure so I'm asking all of you to take some time out of your very busy lives and share an easy, idiot proof (that's me by the way) coffee cake recipe that I could not possibly ruin; even if I tried to ruin it on purpose - which I wouldn't. I want to make Matt happy.

If you have a suitable recipe for the most wonderful, moist, light and EASY coffee cake please share. I'm going to try out McKlinky so that you can link to your post but remember to leave me a comment to reassure me that I can still redeem myself in the eyes of my son!

Blessings,
Amanda x
PS If you don't have a blog to link to don't panic simply leave your delicious recipe in a comment. Thank you:)

Countdown to Christmas Round Up of Giveaways Still Open for Entry

I know I'm a bit behind with filling you in on the wonderful daily giveaways over on Adori Graphics so here is a round up of the daily giveaways that are still open for entry.

3rd Dec - win a Christmas or winter themed digital scrapbooking kit - closes 17th Dec


4th Dec - win a grab box - closes 27th Dec

5th Dec - win a favicon (5 winners) - closes 27th Dec

6th Dec - win a custom Twitter background - closes 27th Dec

7th Dec - win a custom or premade business card design - closes 27th Dec

8th Dec - Win a menu bar - closes 27th Dec

9th Dec - Win a £5 gift certificate for my store - closes 27th Dec

10th Dec - Win a blog background - closes 27th Dec

11th Dec - Win a large blog button - closes 27th Dec

12th Dec - Win a signature graphic - closes 27th Dec

13th Dec - Win a post icon - closes 27th Dec

14th Dec - Win a custom decorative sidebar photo frame design - closes 27th Dec

You can see some of Louise's work right here as the header and background are freebies I downloaded from her site. Louise was kind enough to sort out glitches from where I'd been fiddling with the coding too *blushes*.

If you want to see a custom design (it's still a work in progress mind you as I'm being ever so slow in sorting out what I need due to other things happening in my life) then head over to Sew Retro, So You a new blog I'm starting. It's ever so girlie *giggles* and will be even more stunning when I've finished being indecisive and procrastinating and give Louise the info she needs to complete it (she is SO patient).
So if you blog or tweet and want to give your blog some love then enter. What have you got to lose?

Blessings,
Amanda x

Lord Forgive Me

My faith has always been personal. My paternal grandparents were very religious and the Church was an important part of their lives. I remember listening to my grandad sing in the choir and we always attended church when I stayed with them. My dad would often take me to church on a Sunday when I was little but without fail we attended at Easter and Christmas. I loved the midnight service on Christmas Eve.

I had a wonderful old Ladybird book of The Lord's Prayer that I would study for hours, I loved the pictures. Every night I said my prayers and when it came time for me to go to secondary school I chose a Church of England grammar school. I loved assemblies, the hymns (traditional ones like Onward Christian Soldiers), the stories, I enjoyed RE and the bible I was given is still regarded as a treasure by me and sat by my desk when I was teaching in school. We regularly went up to the church that founded our school, St Martin-in-the-Fields in Trafalgar Square, London and even now I can remember the lyrics of the school song! I was confirmed in St Martins and when I married my husband that was the church I chose for the wedding because I felt strong ties to it. Matthew, my oldest son, was christened there although due to my grandmother's ailing health his younger brother was christened in her local church in Sedgely.

Now, it's hard because my husband doesn't believe. He's willing to if he can be provided with proof. He has attended church services with me in the past and is supportive of my beliefs. I taught at a church school and he would come to the harvest festival to help with the children.

I pray, not just at night time any more, but when I struggle and need someone to talk to. My faith has grown these past few months since I've been waiting to be dismissed, dealt with unfairly and struggle to come to terms with being disgarded like a piece of trash from the profession and career I loved. My faith and following the blogs of others whose faith is strong has really helped me to see that everything that happens is part of  His plan and that it will turn out right in the end. I truly believed that God would not disown me because I can't attend church regularly for services although I do go and sit in there and pray quietly if I can get out of the house.

I don't force religion onto the children. However, I've always talked to them about it, they went to a church school for a few years, it was always around them in a quiet, loving yet unobtrusive way. At Christmas I read them stories, I have a nativity set and I always ensure that we talk about the real reason for the celebrations. Imagine then my horror when Dan asked Lee what Christmas was really about. I'm ashamed and saddened by his lack of knowledge, care and respect. His older brother is extremely scientific and he too feels like his father; that there needs to be proof.

I feel like I've failed. I truly thought that by not constantly referring to my beliefs etc that I was doing the best thing and allowing my children to make up their own minds. Now they have and it wasn't the decision that I was expecting.

My latest challenge therefore, is how to ensure that the spirit and heart of Christmas is remembered and celebrated by ALL of us this year. After all commercialism will have no place here this year, thank goodness.

Any suggestions on how I can tackle this issue in a delicate and non-confrontational, possibly even in a slightly devious manner?

Blessings,
Amanda x

How to Make Enchilladas - A Free E-book

If you've always wanted to know how to make enchilladas then here is the link to a fabulous free ebook. It's a wonderful gift to everyone from Penny Raine. Simply click here and download from one of the two links provided.

Enchilladas are something I've never tried to make but having looked through this free ebook I'm definitely going to be giving it a go as I know the boys will love them. The instructions are easy to follow and come with lots of step by step pictures.

Blessings,

Amanda x

PS Better be quick as it won't be free for long but then again, the price if you have to buy it is very reasonable.

This is it - The Final Challenge

"Celebrate the Author
Hosted by Becky of Becky's Book Reviews
12 Books, 12 Months
January - December 2010

The challenge is designed to “celebrate” author birthdays. Choose one author for each month of the year. Read at least one book a month. 12 authors. 12 birthdays. If you like, you can read MORE than that. Read the books IN ANY ORDER YOU LIKE. As long as you've got one book representing an author birthday from each month of the year by the end, then you're good.

You can choose picture books, poetry books, early readers, chapter books, fiction for middle grades, fiction for teens, adult reads, nonfiction, whatever you want."

For more details and to enter click here.

This is the last challenge I'm signing up for. However, I think it will be a totally awesome challenge not just for me but for Dan and my students that I tutor privately. I am so excited as it will give me a real focus for each month in terms of reading next year. I shall be posting resources and extra activities to go with the books we are studying on My Personal Tutor and Homework4Today

I'm definitely feeling far more positive about 2010. There are so many changes and good things happening.

Blessings,
Amanda x